This isn’t something that started overnight.
It has creeped up slowly and insidiously.
I used to say it all started about a year and a half ago. But when I think back harder, I’ve been stressed at work without a proper break to recuperate for probably two and a half to three years. (I graduated and started internship in 2015)
Don’t get me wrong, the job has always been stressful. But I used to be able to manage it. I had a social life and hobbies. I used to be able to detach myself from it, mentally and physically, to recover and re-energize. It used to be enough.
For the last year though, I’ve broken down.
I passed burnout in the rear view mirror about 6 months ago.
The last year I’ve worked in the worst place I ever have worked (including working retail when I was in college).
My boss is a bully, the majority of my colleagues are incompetent, the hours are the worse they’ve ever been – once a week 36 hour shifts, once a month your team will do a week of call and you will work days on call Monday to Thursday and then work Friday morning through to Monday evening without a break, and then back to normal working hours the next day.
Average weekly hours for me are 72 hours. On the weeks and weekends your team is on call can easily be up to 130 hours over 8 days.
It’s all ‘fine’ if it’s not very busy; you might get some rest. But when it’s busy and you’re so exhausted come Monday morning that you can barely stand, there’s no reprieve. No reinforcements to take the load off so you can rest.
Your consultant and HR don’t care. Your colleagues to too overworked themselves to help. You just have to ‘get on with it’.
Even if it’s not busy you can’t rest properly. Always in the back of your head there’s the thoughts of what might happen. When will the next call come in? Will you miss it if you’re asleep?
It’s not proper rest.
On call means on call, even if it’s ‘call from home’ (not that you get home often).
But it’s how they justify the hours. It’s how they pretend we might be somewhere near EWTD compliant.
While this horrible job has definitely been the breaking point for me there’s so much more that has contributed to it:
- My partner becoming unwell
- Being moved around every year and being far away from friends, family and supports
- Not being able to take my contracted annual leave days
- Not being able to take mandatory study days
- Increasing admin tasks (a lot of which are HR roles)
- An increasing amount of responsibility around the running of the department which I do not have the tools to manage/deal with
How do they honestly not see this killing us!!??
Then there’s all of the other issues being raised by the IMO such as not receiving pay for all hours worked and HR doctoring overtime sheets (2022 and overtime is still documented on paper!!).
All of this is just a message that I am not seen as a human being. I am not valued as a highly trained professional.
And I’m sick of it!!!
One thing I do have (as much as they try to take it away from me) is self respect and self value.
I will not tolerate this treatment for much longer.
My Ultimatum
I lot of this may just be the job I’m currently in.
Changeover is a month away.
This new hospital isn’t supposed to be much better in terms of quality healthcare (this is the HSE!). But my new boss is supposed to be great.
So I’m giving the profession one last chance.
If working conditions and my mental health don’t improve over the next year:
I WILL QUIT.